always back to the gospel.

And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

-Matthew 10:28-29

I was reading over recent posts and came across this one again. I was beginning to realize the amount of time i had been wasting just bumming it out at home on my computer. I began to examine my life and the way i had been acting after i came back home from my 5th semester at Biola. Every time i come back home, i go into baby Deborah mode with my parents. I lack in my walk with God and play and eat a lot. It happens every break but this was the first time i not only realized but decided to act upon it. I am a sinner. many would be surprised at the kind of thoughts i have. I can be extremely judgmental and have killed many in my heart. For this i did not repent of after, i let the sin manifest. And as i begin to have more feelings and think more things, the sin issue began to grow. Anger is shown to my family, stress is built up in my head. I forget the gospel and all its power. I fall short all the time and suck at being disciplined with everything. And even through all these horrible sides of me, i also want to include that i’m not the smartest, coolest, nicest, best, most amazing person you’ll ever meet. Oh, but my God is. today, through the verse above, i was reminded of the gospel. It sounds like such a ‘command.’ as if it were something people would want to resist from doing, but i MUST take up my cross DAILY and follow Him. This verse was a reminder of What Jesus Christ did for me. there will be suffering, trials, and tribulation, but joy comes in the morning! Christ in me the hope of glory! I must live a life that is biblical and pleasing to God by continuously examining myself and ridding myself of my flesh. All for the Glory of God always! not just at Biola, but wherever i go. He is the way, truth, and life. Amen.